I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
