I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
