I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
