I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
