Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
