i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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