ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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