What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
