The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can't talk, ducks in the car
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
