he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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