yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
