Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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