I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
