he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
