hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
