Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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