You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize