Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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