was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
