it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize