She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize