I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
