Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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