Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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