Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
