they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
