Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Life is so much better after having sex.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
