We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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