brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
