shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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