I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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