I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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