Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
