u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
