im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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