My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
