My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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