I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
