Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
