She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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