thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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