I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My balls are so social today.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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