the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
