Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
