he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
