Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
