I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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