i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize