Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
