ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
