I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
