This girl is more easily done than said...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
