ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
