my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
