Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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