I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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