3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can't turn off my feet"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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