Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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