Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Operation Purity has been aborted
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The Olympian is in my bed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
