East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
