Don't you send me to vm
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
