Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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